P.S
after all the typing, i feel better. . but i find that i am such of a letdown to his* family! all of them pamper me soo much and yet i hurt them, not knowing how deep their wound would be. . but anyway what past is past, what done cannot be undone. so here i only can give them my words not to hurt you all again. not including Kecia of course and Kelaine in future!