Saturday, December 16, 2006
yesterday i went to pasir ris to get back my ez-link card! coz that stupid driver confiscate my card! for like no reasons. and his damm reason was like i am now studying poly! the driver really make me wanna laugh. . do i look that smart? wahaha! how smart can i look? =))
alright now is a time for me to confess! :(cried!
today when i was planning to go century square to meet my grandma! this guy just nice message me, asking me where will i be going and all those blah blah blah. . he told me to bring umbrella since it is like raining heavily! i told him i am soo lazy to bring an umbrella out. so he say if i wanna him to come fetch me, then i have to dial this particular number, i told him if he wanna come fetch me then i won't pai seh already. . at that time, my mind was like only thinking! it was raining heavily and too, i do not have enough coins to take bus for me and ah bee! :-/ yupps yupps, just like that he from bishan come all the way to ubi. i didn't thought much about anything! till i told my grandmummy that i took a car to century square and is was jie jie friend! yupps yupps, she then scolded me. nag and nag saying that i am a person with a boyfriend! doing things without thinking. . at that point of time i knew i was wrong! wonder will it be the same as that time over wei kang incident he gave me cold shoulder! when wondering i felt more scared! but after all i think it wouldn't be soo bad, coz if i tell him then it wouldn't be right? :) at night, when we was in the kitchen i told him how naughty ah bee was today! told him about everything excluding the guy came and fetch me, not knowing that ah bee would say it out! i had to say by then in the kitchen. . arghh! :-/ i thought i could tell him this incident in the room! but too, i can't possibly lie to him coz after we stead! we had agree to each other not hiding anything from him! after i told him the story, ask him is he jealous? he say no, coz he can go find another girl! i was soo angry with what he say. .
wanted soo much to explain further but he insisted on playing computer! :(cried! had no choice but to see him play, thought he would just play a few match coz he say he was soo tired! but he didn't, so i went to bed! after he bath finish, i wanted to explain to him, but he say he wanted to smoke! he smoke finish i told him i wanna him to accompany me but he say what without looking at me but the computer screen! arghh! :-/ this make me soo damm mad! don't care, but just continue to sleep! :(cried! i knew he was angry coz he is giving me cold shoulder AGAIN! arghh! :-x i asked him earlier on is he angry he say no! i thought he was really not angry but because he was really really soo damm sickening mad at me. when he was about to go to bed, i apologise to him! saying sorry, he asked me why am i apologising to him? i told him coz i didn't ask him whether can the guy give me a ride to century square, he told me coz he was sleeping! i say no i still should ask! he say if he never answer me leh! i told him then i shouldn't have take the guy car to century square! :(cried! after all the talkings, he asked me why didn't i tell him about it? i only told him after ah bee mention it! i said i wanted to tell him later, he then asked me about the message thingy! he asked why i had deleted the message, i kept quiet! i deleted coz i was soo scared he would let his imagination run wild! but then, after i deleted i regreted! coz i know, if i deleted the message more look like i had some stupid kind of affair with him! arghh! :-x why am i soo stupid?
how i wish there was some clever pills, to make me cleverer! i don't understand why i am always doing stupid things to get you on your nerves, is not that i love making you soo angry!
dear i have a note for you! :)
Dear,
remember when we was together that week you confess to me you wasn't serious about me, wasn't serious about this relationship! i felt soo pain, soo pain! i could hardly utter any word and i cried! i didn't told you the reason but now at this point of time i shall tell you, i cried coz your words had hurt me! hurt me soo much, soo much! and i thought i had found my mr. Right! but when you told me you decided to go serious with me, i didn't quite believe but
time prove everything! and slowly of coz time let me get to know you more and make me fall even deeper for you.
dear i know that being my boyfriend isn't an easy job for you! i knew this and i knew it all along since the day that we was together. coz of my family expectations. . especially my mummy! her expectations are like soo damm unreasonable, but no matter how much i explain to her she just don't seems to understand and believe that i want a person to love me and to be there for me! and not someone who can give me anything that i wanted to get but not having his attention and love. this had made you soo stress, but thankfully that you didn't give up.
when i was young, i was spoilt! this make my temper like a missy. sometimes unreasonable and sometimes for no reason throw my tantrum! i know, i know sometimes you would really find me unreasonable. and is like damm unreasonable right? but dear thanks again,
you tolerated me over and over, again and again! =))
and all thanks to my stupid brain! why always do stupid things to make you soo mad at me? when doing or before doing, not knowing how serious would the matter be till someone told me about it! arghh! :-x dear don't angry le okay? i had already explain myself and to asked you before doing anythings! and too told you i won't take his car ride again le ma! :-/ smile la. . =)) hehehe! really sorry!
-please forgive. coz i had realised my mistake.
dear i would be soo dull if you didn't smile and give me cold shoulder! :(
dear remember i told you i love you on that day, but you said i was drunk!
so no matter what
now i am telling you this again.
i love you. <3
my bLissFuL MOmENTs
love: XUEYING
1:54 AM
